NOTE: It has come to my attention via the comment below and various emails that, well, not having seen meteorological sensationalism first hand in Taiwan, doesn't mean it's not there. It seems I just don't watch the news at the right time. Also, Tim Maddog was kind enough to send me the hilarious video I was looking for when I found the one of Brian Andrews at the bottom of this post.

The winds are picking up here, the foreboding huff-puffing of Typhoon Pabuk approaching. I'm sort of let down to see that it appears to have taken a turn towards the south. Not only do I love big storms, but I was looking forward to, maybe, not having to go to work tomorrow.

Alas, this is Taiwan though. Back home, if there's a hurricane warning, you're pretty much guaranteed a day off to board up your windows in time to get out to the beach so that Gale McDoppler from whichever national news network can ask you why you're so brazened as to stick around and risk a wretched, painful death at the hands of the angry God who has unleashed his wrath in the form of a low-pressure system.

As I left work this morning, I felt the steady winds rushing around the corner of my building, rustling the raincoats and umbrellas of all of the parents waiting outside for their chil'en. I allowed myself for a moment to dream of the possibility that the typhoon would get me the night off tonight (don't think it will) or tomorrow (don't think it will).

Whereas back home we start moving the furniture up to the second floor to prepare for the storm surge and people start boarding and taping up their windows, Taiwanese seem utterly complacent about an impending Typhoon. When we asked the secretary this morning if there was the chance that we might get some time off for the typhoon, she smiled and said, "No." She didn't even give us a "wouldn't that be nice" or a "I'm keeping my fingers crossed." Just, "No" and a smile.

Nearly every Taiwanese person I've talked to has said, "Oh, it's just a lot of rain and some wind. If we get time off because of it, we normally just go to the movies."

Come on! What's the fun in that? Where's the suspense, the trepidation, the melodrama?

I realized, as I was thinking about this (and praying that my umbrella didn't break), that I have never once seen a meteorologist on a Taiwanese news channel. Sure, I've seen weather reports, but I've never actually seen someone standing in front of a map, well, doing what weatherpeople do.

This isn't a bad thing. It just means that Taiwanese people also miss out on the sensationalism of what happens when weathermen have a "big story." There's at least several times every summer that there is a weatherman on one of the beaches around my hometown asking people -- 90 percent of the time crazy surfers taking advantage of the waves the storm kicks up --
"Aren't you scared?" "Are you going to stay?" "Have you bought all that you need?" "What are you going to do if the stores all sell out of canned food and you're here on your surfboard and you can't eat for days?"

Most of the time, the storm passes, and the crestfallen reporter has to pass coverage on to his comrade Hugo del Viento -- he always knows where they're going to hit! -- in the Outer Banks, NC. Alas, it is Hugo who will be the idiot who gets to give us a true idea of just how strong the hurricane is, because we just can't wrap our heads around it, until we see about two hundred pounds of living, breathing human flash laid out by a gust of wind.

In the case of Katrina, one of those idiots was Brian Andrews...



You see, the Taiwanese people have never gotten to see good ole' American-style sensationalism!